Love Letter to a Moots VAMOOTS RSL

February 13th, 2013

‘No single part is best,
For each in its way is a solace

And if the Whole enthralls,
Is any detail the seducer?

She dazzles like the dawn and like the
darkness consoles me;

-excerpt from Altogether, by Baudelaire, as translated by Richard Howard


I don’t know if this note will ever find you, or if these words will mean anything at all.   I sit here now, on the edge of the world, listening to the bumpbump… of my heart and wondering just what I can do to deserve you.  What I feel here is beyond…  beyond these words and the contrived conventions of society…  If I could paint or draw, perhaps.

If I was a better man.

I’ve been training now for so long.  Suffering through races and cursing my lack of talent.  Pedal Hard Training Center at 6am.  100 milers in the rain.  Even commuting on the most miserable, bone chilling of days.  I’ve been eating kale salads and raw almonds, shaving my legs with the most exotic oils and forgoing any type of upper body exercise whatsoever.

I need you…  Each day with my soulless carbon bike is an eternity.  The romance and history of this sport I love dampened like so much road vibration.  I need something that responds to me.  Something that makes me more than who I am!

And I know about NAHBS and your sister, Psychlo X RSL, winning Best Cyclocross Bike and all of those things that happened in 2012.  It’s OK…  Those fair weather friends can lust after her, or the hottest new thing until something flashier comes along.  They didn’t deserve you anyway.  To me you’re not just a set of decals and amazing welds.  It’s every bit of you, working as a unit to create something extraordinary.  The 6/4 seamless seat stays and press fit bottom bracket are simply incredible.  And now I’m seeing pictures of you in the new SRAM Red!

You’re in the shop now, so close, yet forever away.  And I see others handling you as I’m working…  Picking you up with their pawing hands (as if weight was the only determining factor)!  Well, I’m looking for a lifetime commitment. Not some 2 year fling.  These are the ones that will put you on E-bay or Craig’s list of forgotten things.  I can tell by the way they put you back on your display rack.  You cannot trust them.

Just wait for me, please…  I may not be a rich man, but I’ll love you more than those orthodontists or venture capitalists ever could.  I’ll use only the finest cables and housing, the most luxurious bar tape, the lightest components and deepest wheels.  We get paid three times in March, and my tax return is coming back.  My change jar is getting pretty darn full and I’m thinking of returning some stuff I got from Target—I kept my receipt.

It’s all for you, my darling VAMOOTS RSL.  It is all for you.